Friday, January 17, 2014

Halfway Hilarious Historical Ads

Three things all toys should include:
Music, Rocking, and Donkeys!

Hands down, the creepiest toy
I've ever seen. "Magic Skin
Fingers" that can "do almost
anything that human hands can
do"? That makes my skin crawl!

I wasn't allowed to make "pumperoos" when I was a kid.
I was told "nice kids don't make pumperoos." Tragedy!

What a terribly unfortunate name for a toy gun!
Apparently, it "shoots true as your aim."  #smh

"Five Inches Of Danger"? I'm shaking in my tiny boots!

I sent off for this and all I received was an empty box.  At least I 
think it was an empty box. Maybe I should go check it again.

"Come On...Punch-Me!" There are some people that I wish 
would actually ask me to do that. I'd be happy to oblige.

Yesterday's toys are today's child pornography.

Speaking of which...this Breyers ad is in extremely poor taste.

"Get rid of unwanted babies fast"? What? I'm sorry, what?

"Group Action Joe"?  I don't even want to know.

"Papa says it won't hurt me."

"Accidental discharge impossible."

"An Iver Johnson revolver can lie around the house.
The Iver Johnson safety device makes it safe even for children."

I'd like to tell you that this manufacturer went out of 
business within a matter of a few years. But in actuality,
they lasted more than a hundred years before finally folding.

One word: WOW!

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious stuff, JP.
    I enjoy the commentary best of all.