Friday, January 31, 2014

Perfect Paradigms Of Poor Parenting

We need to have a little talk about portion sizes.
And...when to know one's stroller days are over.

Leave me alone, people! I'm trying to smother my child here!


Developing a little early there, aren't ya, missy?

Wait right there. I'll be back in a minute. An hour maximum.

Hot potato, hot potato!

Spelling're doing it wrong.

This is how Miley Cyrus got started. Except Billy Ray 
was the one taking the photos then. Oh, snap!

No comment.

You touch it first, sweetie, to see if it's turned on. Okay, good.

Facial reconstruction're doing it right, actually.

Don't worry, baby, you'll be back in just a minute.

Ketchup is good. Too good to waste.
Especially when licked right off someone's face.

We're gonna need a bigger cart.

Okay, now hit that little red safety button, and you're good to go!

No, you don't eat it, silly! It's not a lollipop!

You have to admit – there's a certain logic to this. Sort of.

No worries. The kid's hotblooded. Check it and see.

Hey, it worked in Gremlins...

Gotta face your fears sometime, kiddo! Now's as good a time as any.

"Just one sip, Mama. I won't throw up. Honest!"

See...what had happened was...

Pretty sure that's a suffocation hazard. Gotta love Walmart people!

Starting a little young, aren't ya, fella?

Yikes, a spider! That could've really hurt you, sweetie!

This is ridiculous! Where's she going
to put all her groceries now?

You had to be there. It made so much more sense at the time.

Puff, puff, pass...

I see Paris, I see France, I see poopy underpants.

Fetal alcohol're doing it right.

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