Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Farting Quotes By Famous Folks

"I tell you, we are here on Earth 
to fart around, and don't let 
anybody tell you different."
~  Kurt Vonnegut, writer

"Jerry Ford is so dumb, he can't fart
and chew gum at the same time."
~  Lyndon B. Johnson, U.S. president

"My philosophy of dating
is just to fart right away."
~  Jenny McCarthy, actress

"A good fart joke makes me bawl
with laughter – so will somebody
farting. And the word 'poo.'
You can't beat a good poo joke."
~  Jenny Eclair, actress

"If I fail, the film industry writes me off as 
another statistic. If I succeed, they pay me a
million bucks to fly out to Hollywood and fart."
~  George A. Romero, film director

"At my age, you sort of fart
your way into a role."
~  Donald Sutherland, actor

"To stop smelling is to stop breathing;
people only really inhale the essence
of life when they pass gas."
~  Bauvard, writer

"Home is where the heart is,
home is where the fart is.
Come let us fart in the home.
There is no art in a fart.
Still a fart may not be artless.
Let us fart and artless fart in the home."
~  Ernest Hemingway, writer

"Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for
liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of 
how much it has let pass out of its control.
It is a small gesture, but one that can be 
very effective – especially in a large crowd.
So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always
fart without apology. Fart for freedom, 
fart for liberty – and fart proudly."
~  Benjamin Franklin, statesman

"A fart in the face is love."
~  James Kidd, writer

"I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think 
I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women."
~  James Joyce, writer

"Being married means I can break 
wind and eat ice cream in bed."  
~  Brad Pitt, actor

"I don't want to talk to you no more, 
you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. 
I fart in your general direction.
Your mother was a hamster, and
your father smelt of elderberries."
~  Taunting French Guard, 
Monty Python and the Holy Grail

No comments:

Post a Comment