Friday, March 14, 2014

Lost In Translation: Signs And Packages That Don't Say What They Actually Mean

I never get tired of this stuff. Chances are, if you're reading this, you don't either. Enjoy!  ~  JH

If you're happy and you know it...

Lighten up, people. They mean "kickball."

Well, that sounds scrumptious...

If it's sleeping, it can take care of itself!

"If you are unsure whether or not
you are a prostitute", just wow!

Also and I glad you a happy time wish.

T-minus 15 seconds and counting...

"Numb & Spicy Hot Pot Flavor."
Sounds delightful...

Not exactly...

This one has me stumped. 
What did they really mean to say?

Curled poo. Not exactly something
I'd be excited about harvesting.

Is this about the curled poo again? Lay off, already!

Umm, I think I'll take the cake dessert tray.

Smjhota Express: The No-Fart Zone.

So THAT's where it comes from!

Well, isn't that special?

Trust the beard. It knows.

"Fragrant And Hot Marxism." Sounds delicious!

I'm only eating here if they have an 
all-you-can-eat sheet iron buffet.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Yeah, I hear it's murder on the lungs.

Shoot, I don't see her name on it!

I'll try. But I was hoping it'd be dirty inside.

Together in life, together on your plate...

We're not picky. Use whomever you'd like.

Good advice, actually.

It takes a village to stop a pickpocket.

AKA, the Curled Poo Depository.

Today's "Titbits" Special is Sheep Turds with
a side of Dog Turd Tartare and potato chips.

I second that.

This gives me a headache!

"The old, weak, and pregnant."
Don't forget about "deformed."

Just pop in the microwave for 30 seconds
and it's ready to eat. And fester inside you.

Sounds about right.

You are, however, encouraged
to make zucchini.

They go together like peas and carrots.

I'm sure I would, too!

Old Lesbians. Now in Strawberry flavor!

Sorry, I only like chicken that tastes like a Beemer.

That's a pretty good deal. Hey, come back with that!

This is a lie. I've known a lot of Mighty Soxers,
and not one of them had a "beautiful smiling face."

Keep moving. Nothing to see here...

I'll be on the lookout for it.

Looks like a hipster's grocery bag to me.

I'm confused...

I'm not at all surprised.

Management is not responsible
for blood stains on your clothing
resulting from you standing too
close, you sadistic gawkers!

This is some bizarre foot fetish thing, isn't it?

I'm not picky. Dumb Noshery makes me slobber, too.

Thanks, I'll try to keep them straight.

Well, what is it then? Quiche? Pickled beets?

I pants, too. Because I life.

It's a baffling mystery!

This explains a lot!