Thursday, July 30, 2015

10 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Today Than Getting A Filling

Climbing Mt. Everest in the winter, 
nearly as naked as the day I was born.

Licking the underside of a desk 
in an abandoned school in Chernobyl.

Bound, gagged, and duct-taped to a chair,
being forced to watch a Jersey Shore marathon.

Running from a charging bull dressed as a clown.

Searching for Sasquatch in a dense forest 
full of predators…not to mention Sasquatch.

Curling…and I don't even understand (nor 
do I have a desire to understand) the sport.

Popping someone else's zits as a favor.

Sleeping on a bed of nails.

Gouging out my own eyeball with a spoon. 
(Because it's dull, you twit, it'll hurt more!)

Writing a blog post about "Things I'd Rather 
Be Doing Today Than Getting A Filling."

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