Unintentionally Funny Vintage Ads About Being...Happy?

As most people know, the word "gay" didn't always mean what it does today. To be "gay" used to mean to be happy, lighthearted, and carefree. Keeping that in mind, but likely being unable to remove the "modern" definition of the word from your brain, here's a collection of vintage ads about being...happy?

A "gay" umbrella made by an underwear

company. That sounds about right.

Want loving, alluring lips?

Give 'em a Gay Flare!

For shiny hair that

holds its shape, GO GAY!

This ad is about as realistic as that

"Have a happy period!" commercial that

inexplicably got airtime a few years back. 

Apparently, "Gay Baby" comes in three

different sizes. One is right for you!

 

It's a small world after all.

Let's "travel by train"

and head that way!

The phrase "families go gay" is in the

same ad as the phrase "Westward Ho!" 

So many possibilities, so little time.

I'm gonna hold my tongue and let you

make up your own sarcastic remarks.

"Gay companion." "Working partner."

Sure, whatever you want to call them.

I didn't know gayness

came in the form of a pill.

Straight kids need not apply.

I wouldn't jump to any conclusions,

but he is a dapper dresser.

They actually have those 

now, don't they?

Aww...that's so sweet!

And proud of it, apparently!

Apparently, it can happen

to you overnight!

I wonder if this is where they got the

idea for the rainbow as a pride symbol?

Just because it's pink doesn't make it gay!

There's something for everyone here.

Lost In Translation: Signs And Packages That Don't Say What They Actually Mean

I never get tired of this stuff. Chances are, if you're reading this, you don't either. Enjoy!  ~  JH

If you're happy and you know it...

 

Lighten up, people. They mean "kickball."

Well, that sounds scrumptious...

If it's sleeping, it can take care of itself!

"If you are unsure whether or not

you are a prostitute"...wow, just wow!

Also and I glad you a happy time wish.

T-minus 15 seconds and counting...

"Numb & Spicy Hot Pot Flavor."

Sounds delightful...

Not exactly...

This one has me stumped. 

What did they really mean to say?

Curled poo. Not exactly something

I'd be excited about harvesting.

Is this about the curled poo again? Lay off, already!

Umm, I think I'll take the cake dessert tray.

Smjhota Express: The No-Fart Zone.

So THAT's where it comes from!

Well, isn't that special?

Trust the beard. It knows.

"Fragrant And Hot Marxism." Sounds delicious!

I'm only eating here if they have an 

all-you-can-eat sheet iron buffet.

 

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Yeah, I hear it's murder on the lungs.

 

Shoot, I don't see her name on it!

I'll try. But I was hoping it'd be dirty inside.

Together in life, together on your plate...

We're not picky. Use whomever you'd like.

Good advice, actually.

It takes a village to stop a pickpocket.

AKA, the Curled Poo Depository.

Today's "Titbits" Special is Sheep Turds with

a side of Dog Turd Tartare and potato chips.

I second that.

This gives me a headache!

"The old, weak, and pregnant."

Don't forget about "deformed."

Just pop in the microwave for 30 seconds

and it's ready to eat. And fester inside you.

Sounds about right.

You are, however, encouraged

to make zucchini.

They go together like peas and carrots.

I'm sure I would, too!

Old Lesbians. Now in Strawberry flavor!

Sorry, I only like chicken that tastes like a Beemer.

That's a pretty good deal. Hey, come back with that!

This is a lie. I've known a lot of Mighty Soxers,

and not one of them had a "beautiful smiling face."

Keep moving. Nothing to see here...

I'll be on the lookout for it.

Looks like a hipster's grocery bag to me.

I'm confused...

I'm not at all surprised.

Management is not responsible

for blood stains on your clothing

resulting from you standing too

close, you sadistic gawkers!

This is some bizarre foot fetish thing, isn't it?

I'm not picky. Dumb Noshery makes me slobber, too.

Thanks, I'll try to keep them straight.

Well, what is it then? Quiche? Pickled beets?

I pants, too. Because I life.

It's a baffling mystery!

This explains a lot!