Brutally Honest Product Names And Slogans

DISCLAIMER:  I didn't come up with any of these. All credit goes to cracked.com, buzzfeed.com, and honestslogans.com. But I did laugh at all of them. And I bet you will too! Enjoy!  ~  JH

Family Game Night or World War III? Hard to tell.

Mmm, tasty!

Cheapest food on Planet Earth.

Amazing how many jackets it can hold!

But it's so cute!

I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.

And that's a problem why, exactly?

Yep.

Or adults. Just sayin'...

They could've also called it, "NO, DON'T EAT IT!"

Truth.

Half the nutrition ends up on the floor. Oh, well...

That sounds about right.

Yeah...I hate them for it, too.

Recycling made easy.

More like make vegetables edible!

Yep.

But I just updated yesterday!

Always.

Thus the trilogy, I suppose.

Indeed.

Yes, exactly!

That's gonna leave a mark.

Wait, really? I never noticed.

That's why it's so good!

I can neither confirm nor deny that this is true...

Amen!

That's why it's always a side dish.

Always!

Oh, snap!

I hope we won't find out about this one!

Many a hurricane has been waited out with a deck of these.

This will never happen to me. I'm too poor to be that stupid.

Just about.

True of almost all the ones you can Watch Instantly.

I don't wanna think about it!

Love the bullet points on this one!

Preach!

And never on sale. Ever.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, it's something at least.

But it worked for Jared...

Ouch!

Sad but true.

I remember doing this to myself. It still hurts!

Handled without care.

You work with what you have.

Because, that's why.

Yeah, they went there. And it was hilarious!

So it would seem.

I can vouch for that personally.

It was true of my grandma before she passed.

Snicker...

I thought I was the only one who thought this way...

They are.

Or because I didn't want to pay $10 to see it in the theater.

Guilty as charged.

Many an hour of my childhood was spent in this endeavor.

Time for a bathroom break...

I have done this. Multiple times. That could be a

sign of neurosis on my part. Better look it up!

But you've probably been in a fraternity. Twenty years

ago. And you act and dress like you're still one of the bros.

A verifiable fact.

I can't deny that it's true.

But what a coma!

Where were you when I needed you in college?

Looks okay to me. Just don't touch it. Or breathe near it.

Exactly!

I try to avoid that kind of junk food.

Friends? What friends? But I've got Park Place!

Share on Facebook. Find out which 

of your friends you can easily deceive.

Jamie Lee Curtis wouldn't lie to you.

I prefer the Honey Nut Cardboard Rings myself.

Tin-foil hat wearers of the world, unite!

Absolutely! But you'll never get rid of that smell...

If you shop here, you might be a hipster. But you'll 

probably deny it with every fiber of your ironic being.

Engineered to drive you crazy!

Say it ain't so, Toucan Sam!

Well, of course it does!

Or when you want to watch 100 minutes of heartwarming

treacle that inspires you to go call your relatives.

I really do. *sigh*

Speed in a can.

But ooh, it's so good!

When you gotta go, you gotta go...

Classic indeed!

If you can judge a magazine by its cover, this is probably true.

'Nuff said.

Farting Quotes By Famous Folks

"I tell you, we are here on Earth 

to fart around, and don't let 

anybody tell you different."

~  Kurt Vonnegut, writer

"Jerry Ford is so dumb, he can't fart

and chew gum at the same time."

~  Lyndon B. Johnson, U.S. president

"My philosophy of dating

is just to fart right away."

~  Jenny McCarthy, actress

"A good fart joke makes me bawl

with laughter – so will somebody

farting. And the word 'poo.'

You can't beat a good poo joke."

~  Jenny Eclair, actress

"If I fail, the film industry writes me off as 

another statistic. If I succeed, they pay me a

million bucks to fly out to Hollywood and fart."

~  George A. Romero, film director

"At my age, you sort of fart

your way into a role."

~  Donald Sutherland, actor

"To stop smelling is to stop breathing;

people only really inhale the essence

of life when they pass gas."

~  Bauvard, writer

"Home is where the heart is,

home is where the fart is.

Come let us fart in the home.

There is no art in a fart.

Still a fart may not be artless.

Let us fart and artless fart in the home."

~  Ernest Hemingway, writer

"Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for

liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of 

how much it has let pass out of its control.

It is a small gesture, but one that can be 

very effective – especially in a large crowd.

So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always

fart without apology. Fart for freedom, 

fart for liberty – and fart proudly."

~  Benjamin Franklin, statesman

"A fart in the face is love."

~  James Kidd, writer

"I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think 

I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women."

~  James Joyce, writer

"Being married means I can break 

wind and eat ice cream in bed."  

~  Brad Pitt, actor

"I don't want to talk to you no more, 

you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. 

I fart in your general direction.

Your mother was a hamster, and

your father smelt of elderberries."

~  Taunting French Guard, 

Monty Python and the Holy Grail