Thursday, June 4, 2015

Bizarre Quotes About Giraffes

"I was once kissed on the lips by a giraffe, 
and I don't think I've ever got over it."  
~  Joanna Lumley, actress

"You can't always write a chord ugly enough to
say what you want to say, so sometimes you have 
to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream." 
  ~  Frank Zappa, musician

"Does the giraffe know what he's for? Or care? 
Or even think about his place in things? 
A giraffe has a black tongue twenty-seven 
inches long and no vocal cords. A giraffe has 
nothing to say. He just goes on giraffing."  
~  Robert Fulghum, author

"Only a friend or a giraffe would stick his 
neck out for you. But only a giraffe would 
eat all the leaves off your tree so he could 
peek in your second-story bedroom window."  
~  Jarod Kintz, author

"I like you, 'cause you look like a giraffe 
stretching out its neck to get to fruit in a tall tree."  
 Of Montreal, rock band

"The reason why there aren't more travelers 
is that your average physicist refuses to 
be eaten by a giraffe in the name of science."  
~  Bradley Sands, writer

"I'd sell a giraffe and give you 
half just to occupy my mind."  
 The Tragically Hip, rock band

"I had a dream about you coming up with 
non sequiturs. You were a purple giraffe and I was 
an orange rhino. But we were eating liquid skittles."  
~  Ryan Lilly, author

"I know who I am. No one else knows who
I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I 
was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe."  
~  Richard Gere, actor

"I know it sounds weird, but I just have a thing
for giraffes. I got to wondering if you could own
a giraffe and if so, how much would a giraffe cost?"  
~  Kellie Pickler, singer

"Riding down the path 
on the back of a giraffe. 
Me and the giraffe laughed, 
'cause I passed some gas."  
~  Red Hot Chili Peppers, rock band

"You need that guy like 
a giraffe needs strep throat."  
~  Ann Landers, columnist

"I am an evil giraffe, and I shall eat more 
leaves from this tree than perhaps 
I should, so that other giraffes may die."  
~  Eddie Izzard, comedian

"The man who believes in 
giraffes would swallow anything."  
~  Adrian Mitchell, poet

"One last hurrah for the drunk giraffe!"  
~  Matt Smith, actor

"If I had a big giraffe, he'd have to take a real 
long bath. And that's why waterfalls are really neat."  
~  Dwight Yoakam, singer

"I wouldn't believe your wireless radio 
if I had myself a flying giraffe."  
~  Stereophonics, rock band

"I want to buy a lighthouse, 
and ride a giraffe on the rocks."  
~  Patrick Wolf, singer

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